What to talk about in 1:1s?
“Don’t bring work into your 1:1s” - I heard this phrase again recently, and it reminded me how confused I felt the first time I came across it, at the beginning of my journey as a people manager.
After 7 years in a management role, I’ve formed my opinion on what is useful to bring into 1:1 conversations. I think this statement can be misleading, especially for new managers. If you’re wondering what to talk about in 1:1s, I’ll share how I think about it now.
Adapt
As much as I appreciate consistency, each 1:1 will be different. Every person is unique, and the conversation will largely be shaped by the two individuals involved and the dynamics between them.
Unique needs
Different people have different needs. Some appreciate getting to know you on a personal level and value time in 1:1s for that. Others might be laser-focused on a specific initiative and prefer to use the time to get the context and support they need to make progress. Some bring problems and expect solutions, while others want to feel heard and understood.
For 1:1s to be valuable for both sides, it’s important to recognise each other’s needs. Don’t assume they are the same. Ask directly, and share your own.
Different circumstances
Some 1:1s take 15 minutes; others go over time and require follow-up. This depends not only on how talkative people are, but also on the situation.
If you’ve been working together for a while and things are going well, 1:1s can be short.
In other situations - when your direct report is dealing with complex challenges, stepping into a new role, or facing performance issues - you’ll likely need more time. Scheduling additional conversations on specific topics and agreeing on focus areas upfront can help make those discussions more effective.
Varied seniority
1:1s also depend on seniority. The more senior your direct report is, the more initiative and responsibility they tend to take in 1:1s. A CTO–Head of Engineering 1:1 looks very different from an EM–Junior Engineer one.
With seniority comes greater autonomy and responsibility. People are expected to take initiative and have a clear understanding of their goals and development.
When managing more senior individuals, you can set this expectation explicitly to help them make the best use of your time together. This is less reasonable for more junior people, who may not yet know what to ask for.
At the same time, some junior individuals show impressive initiative. Even then, don’t be misled - they still need guidance, even if it’s less visible.
Make it count
Regardless of differences, it helps to have a shared understanding of what makes a 1:1 a good use of time - whether you’re speaking with your manager or your direct report.
My approach to 1:1s is based on a simple premise: they take place in the context of a company, where the expectation is that people add value by performing at their best.
From this perspective, 1:1s serve a dual purpose:
- to ensure value is being created
- to support development towards higher performance.
This applies to both the manager and the direct report, even if each views it through the lens of their own role.
Create value
If you work as an individual contributor, you create value directly. A useful question to reflect on is how you create value and what enables you to do it well.
When you lead others - whether you have formal people management responsibility or not - you create value through their work. The question then becomes how those you lead create value, and how you can help them do it better.
This is what you can focus on in your 1:1s, looking at it from a few different angles.
Align on priorities
For both the manager and the direct report, 1:1s are a good place to discuss priorities and check that efforts are aligned. Do this proactively by asking: “What’s at the top of your priority list right now?” and “How can I help?” Alignment on priorities is one of the most important pre-requisites for value creation.
When speaking with your direct report, be explicit about what matters most. This inevitably shapes how they think about their work. Ask what’s at the top of their list to create an opportunity to course-correct early if efforts are misaligned.
When speaking with your manager, ask about their priorities to understand how your work contributes and to avoid heading in the wrong direction.
Share context
Context sharing is another valuable use of 1:1s. Ask yourself: “What do I know that could affect the other person’s work?”
As a manager, you can use 1:1s to bring in information from outside your direct report’s scope to inform their decisions. This helps build empowerment and improves the quality of decision-making.
When speaking with your manager, you can provide more visibility into what’s happening within your scope, especially when it’s not easily observed. This helps build trust, enables better support, and gives your work the visibility it needs - something that can also influence your performance assessment.
Raise concerns
Another valuable use of 1:1s is proactively raising concerns with your manager, especially when you don’t feel enabled to create value. Event better if you can suggest resolution options and recommendations. This shows initiative and strong-problem solving.
For managers, it’s important to surface issues affecting their direct reports as early as possible. Questions like “What concerns you most right now?” or “What challenges are you facing with …?” can be an effective way to do this.
Building trust is a prerequisite for open conversations about concerns. And when something important is raised, how you respond matters - following through is key to maintaining that trust.
Encourage development
When people perform at their best, they create the most value.
Beyond value creation, there are also aspects of personal satisfaction and motivation to consider. For many of us, growth is rewarding, and mastering new skills often brings fulfilment. In a company context, the goal is to align individual development with performance for the company’s benefit.
One of the most valuable uses of 1:1s is to support growth - helping people improve their performance in their role and make progress in their development.
Discuss expectations
Expectations are one of the most important topics to cover in 1:1s, as they directly affect performance. This includes roles and responsibilities, growth trajectory, and ways of working that enable success.
Clarity on expectations is critical. People need to understand what’s expected of them in their role, and it’s equally useful to discuss the manager’s role to clarify ownership and avoid overlaps. As a manager, you’re responsible for making expectations explicit on both sides. When speaking with your manager, if something is unclear - whether about your responsibilities or theirs - ask for clarification.
1:1s are also a good place to discuss growth and how to work towards it. If you have specific ambitions, bring them up with your manager.
Another important aspect is how you work together. Discuss what you need from each other for effective collaboration - where you need support, and how you prefer to work.
Expectations don’t change every week, so this topic tends to come up when relationships are forming or when something shifts. It can be useful to go deeper in dedicated conversations, and revisit key points in 1:1s when needed.
Give and solicit feedback
Feedback helps us improve - whether you’re giving it to your direct report or to your manager.
Ideally, feedback is shared as soon as possible after the event that triggered it. That’s not always feasible, especially when it requires additional context or preparation. This is one of the reasons 1:1s are a good place for feedback.
They also provide time and space to reflect on whether feedback is needed, or to actively ask for it.
Reflect on callenges & successes
Reflection is one of the most valuable uses of 1:1s - and my personal favourite. I like to use them to help my direct reports reflect on challenges and successes. This helps identify strengths and growth areas, and creates opportunities for coaching and mentorship. It also creates space to notice and celebrate progress.
As a manager, you can prompt this reflection with questions like: “What has made you most happy or proud recently?” and “What would you like a do-over on?”
You can also be more specific:
- “How do you think … went?”
- “What was your experience with …?”
- “If you were to do it again, what would you change?”
Conclusion
1:1s create dedicated time and space for regular conversations. You can bring whatever works for you, as long as you both see it as a good use of your time.
When speaking with your direct report, the goal is to understand what’s going on, how they work, where they need support, and how to help them excel.
When speaking with your manager, the focus shifts to getting context and guidance, while providing enough visibility for them to understand your work and support your growth and impact.